The moment I discovered the profound impact of asking — or being asked — the right question was during my first experience with a clearness committee.
Clearness committees are discernment groups with roots in the Quaker tradition. As a “focus person” (the person with the issue for discernment), my job was to share briefly with the committee members. For about 90 minutes, their job was to ask me questions. The more questions they asked, the more deeply I reflected on the issue. The more deeply I reflected on the issue, the more I heard the Spirit speaking.
The right question is a powerful gift.
I want to share three simple questions for reflection that have emerged out of the field of group facilitation:
- “What?”
- “So what?”
- “Now what?”
These three questions need to be in every leader’s reflective toolkit. You can use them in small groups, action reviews, staff interventions, mentoring conversations and even as a communication or storytelling rubric to guide change management.
The question “what?” is about identifying. What is the situation? What happened? Do you have enough information, or the right information, to know what’s really going on? New leaders like to start with “how?” because they are eager to make changes, but that’s a mistake. When you reflect on a meeting that went awry, or you try to understand your congregation’s culture of hospitality, start with the question “what?” Focus on the facts and try to be objective.
The second question is “so what?” After you gather information, move to interpretation. At this stage of the reflection process, the goal is to make sense of what happened. How did you feel about what you heard in the meeting? What motivates members to respond to newcomers in a certain way? Do you notice a broader pattern of behaviors? What are the consequences of this event or situation?
The third question is “now what?” Once we’ve collected the facts and examined our feelings, we can develop action items. What are we going to do to move forward in a positive manner? What changes does the church need to make to improve the outcomes? What habits do we need to establish as leaders to be more effective in our roles?
Prince Rivers
Editor, Alban at Duke Divinity
Resources
Individuals and institutions need intentional rest and reflection
Jesus modeled the requirement to step away in order to sustain his ministry, writes a director of programs and grants with Leadership Education at Duke Divinity.
By Mycal X. Brickhouse
Sweeping the labyrinth and inviting others into our lonely questions
Spiritual practices may not always provide the answers we seek, but they can encourage us to keep asking questions.
By Laura M. Fabrycky
Where is the measuring tape?
COVID has complicated how we determine the scale of our work, but asking key questions can help, writes the executive director of Leadership Education at Duke Divinity.
By David L. Odom
The how of asking good questions
Christian leaders spend their workdays asking questions, but few are trained in how to ask good ones. Good questions are powerful tools for building relationships, assessing needs, creating an atmosphere of inquiry and imagination, and charting a way forward.
By Gretchen E. Ziegenhals
P.S.
John Dewey was an American educator who championed the idea that real learning happens when we engage with an experience. He famously said, “We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.”
Carving out time to reflect on our experiences is a critical habit for leaders. Good questions don’t demand quick answers. Good questions encourage us to pause, take a step back and consider multiple angles.
The next time you meet with your leadership team, be sure to put questions on the agenda. If John Dewey was correct, using these three reflection questions will help you and your team move from unexamined experience to genuine education.
You can always reach me and the Alban Weekly team at alban@duke.edu. Until next week, keep leading!