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We sometimes confuse commitment with over-functioning. It’s a common leadership mistake, especially in congregations. A volunteer drops the ball, a ministry struggles or conflict surfaces; pastors and key leaders often respond by working harder, carrying more and filling the gaps themselves. This may look like faithful leadership, but over time it often produces the opposite of what leaders want.
As Edwin Friedman observed in “A Failure of Nerve,” when leaders habitually take responsibility for problems that belong to others, they can unintentionally create a system in which others take less responsibility for their own growth, decisions and ministry. The result is a congregation that becomes increasingly dependent on heroic leaders and increasingly less interested in functioning as a healthy, resilient community.
When we try to fix everyone’s problems, we weaken the institution because we short-circuit the learning that can only happen when people learn to resolve conflict and are held accountable. Fellow leaders and members fail to reach their full spiritual and emotional potential when heroic leaders constantly solve their problems for them.
In addition to the unhealthy effects on the organization as whole, over-functioning has negative consequences for the person who does it: resentment, bitterness and burnout. Like Martha, we complain about and criticize all the “Marys” who want to sit at Jesus’ feet while we do all the work. We wear a smile as we murmur, “Doesn’t anyone see how hard I am working?”
To overcome the habit of over-functioning, we must first notice it. Without shaming ourselves, we must examine our motives for wanting to solve everyone’s problems. Another discipline that will help us function in a more balanced way is to become more comfortable sitting with the discomfort in the system.
As you plan your work for the week, do you know what you need to do and what you need to let others do?
Resources
Moral fatigue and the quiet exhaustion of doing the right thing
We are called to remain true to the common good despite opposition and adversity. That feels particularly hard now, but the Bible offers reassurance.
By Khristi Lauren Adams
What if we are all burned out?
Listening intentionally and responding to specific symptoms of burnout are good practices within churches — and can benefit their communities.
By David L. Odom
The dangers of workism, especially for pastors
Our culture prizes meaningful work, and a lot of it. What does that mean for pastors whose desks are actually altars?
By Alaina Kleinbeck
One-on-one accountability groups may be a solution to pastoral woes
When a Michigan pastor realized that his accountability group was too big, he came up with a new solution — pairs.
By A. Trevor Sutton
Before you go
In Mark 1:35-38, Jesus teaches a masterclass in how not to over-function. He woke up early in the morning for prayer and solitude. After being gone for a while, Simon and the other disciples went to look for Jesus. When they found him, they delivered an urgent (and probably anxious) message: “Everyone is searching for you.”
What did Jesus do? He did not jump up and say, “Take me to these people so I can fix everything.” Instead, Jesus said, “Let us go on to the neighboring towns” — as in, somewhere else — “so that I may proclaim the message there also, for that is what I came out to do.”
I don’t think Jesus intended to ignore the needs of the people who came to see him. But I do believe he was clear about what he needed to do. Being clear about what you need to do, as well as what you don’t need to do, is a good first step in a more balanced approach to leadership.
You can always share your ideas or feedback with me and the Alban Weekly team at alban@duke.edu. Until next week, keep leading!
Prince R. Rivers
Editor, Alban at Duke Divinity