All our favorite superheroes have at least one incredible power that enables them to do what is impossible for mere mortals. Some characters use super speed, others use indomitable strength.
Curiosity might be one of the untapped superpowers for leaders.
As we approach the eve of another presidential election, this may be especially true for leaders in politically purple congregations. It’s likely true for all of us considering the epidemic of conflict that plagues our communities, schools, congregations, civic life and international relations.
It’s tempting to say “you’re wrong” to someone you disagree with. But what if there’s an alternative that leads to better communication, rather than increased conflict? Expressing curiosity by asking questions can be the key to deescalating tension.
You already know that conflict is an inevitable part of ministry. Being curious helps us take a moment to breathe and reflect on what is happening around us before we react to the situation. The most curious thing we can do is ask a question. When we ask sincere questions to learn more about someone’s perspective or to understand their argument’s backstory, we create an opportunity to foster respect and perhaps even trust.
Rather than shut the other party down with a blanket criticism of their opinions or with personal attacks, what if we took time to really listen to them? What might happen if they really listened to us? How might that change the temperature of the conversation? It is true that even when we ask the right questions and listen respectfully, we may not agree in the end. However, if we approach conflict with curiosity, we have a better chance of walking away with a deeper understanding and hopefully less animosity. Isn’t that worth being a little more curious?
Resources
Six ways small churches can help us stay human during election season
Small churches may seem irrelevant during critical elections of international consequence. But these local congregations have much to teach us about staying human, says a Quaker pastor.
By Andy Stanton-Henry
How your church can be brave
If faith communities can find the courage to have difficult conversations, they may make progress in overcoming division. Here are some suggestions for how to do that.
By Elizabeth Hagan
The how of asking good questions
Christian leaders spend their workdays asking questions, but few are trained in how to ask good ones. Good questions are powerful tools for building relationships, assessing needs, creating an atmosphere of inquiry and imagination, and charting a way forward.
By Gretchen E. Ziegenhals
It’s all about curiosity
Curiosity is an important trait, writes a minister. It keeps us compassionate and open to change.
By Mihee Kim-Kort
Before you go…
Curiosity is so important in leadership because it is the engine that drives the pursuit of knowledge. Curious people want to know “why” and “how.” They listen attentively to what others have to say. When we lack curiosity, we are quick to close our minds to new ideas and alternative perspectives. If you’re not feeling very curious these days, you can stimulate this muscle in different ways. Strike up a conversation with someone you don’t normally speak to. Pay attention to what you can learn from them. Read a novel or a poem. How does the writer show you the world from a different point of view? How does that point of view shape the way you view your own life? And here’s a simple step to develop curiosity: learn a new skill. You’ll stretch your mind, and that will lead to you wanting to learn more.
We often become less curious as we get older, but we don’t have to. According to Albert Einstein, “The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
You can always reach me and the Alban Weekly team at alban@duke.edu. Until next week, keep leading!
Prince Rivers
Editor, Alban at Duke Divinity